How To Know If Your Ex-Boyfriend Is In A Rebound Relationship & How Long Will It Last?
The answer to what is the most excruciating type of pain a person can go through may vary from person to person. However, if you have recently broken up with a beloved partner, you may find yourself standing at this point of rebound relationship. Romantic relationships don’t dissolute easily, especially if you have a long journey together behind you.
Breakups are painful, and while some may find themselves sunk deep in depression, anxiety, and misery, others opt to find an escape route from the emotional turmoil that follows a breakup, known as a rebound relationship.
Rebound Relationship – An Escape Route from Pain
A rebound relationship, according to researchers Brumbaugh & Fraley in their research conducted in 2015, defined it a relationship that initiates immediately after ending a previous one, but without complete healing of the feelings attached to it. Such relationships often start after ending a long term love affair, of a serious nature, involving a lot of emotional attachment. Such relationships are more than often, taken up as a refuge against the pain that results owing to the break-up.
Why Your Ex-Boyfriend Would Be In A Rebound Relationship
Breakups are heart-wrenching, for you and your boyfriend however, while one partner may be more mature in dealing with the pain of a breakup, the other may be in a state of denial, anger, and experiencing several other distressing emotions. Your ex-boyfriend could literally act impulsively and be in an emotional state of turmoil, he might end up making decisions that are not well thought off, or logical in any way. The only thing your ex-boyfriend may be thinking of is how to overcome the suffering and how to get over the loss, grief, and emotional distress he is facing.
It is normal to end up in a new relationship, as generally after a breakup, craving for attention, and wanting someone to care for you is common behavior. Such a relationship; however, according to the study of Spielmann, Joel, MacDonald and Kogan, published in 2012, titled “Ex Appeal: Current Relationship Quality and Emotional Attachment to Ex-Partners” can prove to be detrimental for everyone involved in such a relationship.
So how can you know whether your ex-boyfriend is in a rebound relationship! Stop driving yourself crazy overthinking whether he is or not in a rebound relationship. Follow the indications listed below to analyze the kind of relationship your ex-boyfriend is currently living through.
Indications That Your Ex-Boyfriend Is In a Rebound Relationship
How Quick Was He In Finding A New Partner
This is probably one of the most obvious and quickest ways of assessing whether or not your boyfriend is in a rebound relationship. If he jumped into a new relationship within a couple of weeks after breaking up with you, there is an accelerated chance that it is a rebound one.
It is literally impossible for someone to find a new partner this quickly and easily. Especially if you have had a long and deep relationship, both the people involved require a lot of time to overcome the love and emotion attached with such a meaningful relationship. It is emotionally impossible for your ex-boyfriend to get over a relationship in a couple of weeks’ time.
According to a study conducted by Shimek and Bello in 2014 titled “Coping With Break-Ups: Rebound Relationships And Gender Socialization” it was found that owed to emotional attachments men have with their ex-partners, coupled with their ludic nature, men are more prone to entering a rebound relationship, compared to women. The research also presented the findings that such rebound relationships are superficial in nature and occur very shortly after the termination of a previous relationship.
Although the time taken to start a new relationship is more than often, a sure shot sign of whether or not it is a rebound relationship; however, if in any doubt, assess this sign in conjunction with the other signs mentioned below.
How Long Has He Been Dating The New Girl?
Again, if your ex-boyfriend has been dating a new girl for just a few weeks now, there is a high probability that it is a rebound relationship, as anything that goes a long way, like for months, is less likely to be a rebound relationship. Nothing serious ever develops in a relationship that has just formed a few weeks or even a few months before. You actually need to know a person inside out in order to feel anything genuine, and that takes time, often a lot of time.
How Similar Is Your Ex Boyfriend’s New Girl To You
You were in a long relationship and both of you absolutely admired each other, feeling comfortable enough to share everything, and never regretting it. One thing that this clearly states is that your ex-boyfriend loved you as you were, and you define the kind of woman he liked, loved, and preferred over others.
Now if your ex-boyfriend, after the break up is dating a girl that is absolutely different from what you are, chances are very high that he is in a rebound relationship.
Your ex-boyfriend, to overcome the pain he feels against your loss in his life, is compensated through dating someone who is totally different from you. Your ex-boyfriend attempts to forget about you through opting for a girl that is nothing like you (remember you were his choice, and he preferred you in every way), he consoles himself through thinking that someone who is different from you will divert his attention from you. It is his attempt to overcome his likeness for you.
One thing that he does not understand is that if you enjoy sweet food, you cannot survive on savory for long.
Entering a relationship with someone with whom you are not compatible or comfortable with, will ultimately lead to termination of that relationship in the future. And since your ex-boyfriend was very comfortable with you, the probability of him being comfortable with someone that is nothing like you is very low.
Generally, people enter rebound relationships to forget about their ex-partners, and selecting someone opposite of their previous partner, is a sure sign of it being a rebound relationship.
How Fast Is your Ex-Boyfriend’s New Relationship Moving On
This is yet again a very important indicator that reflects a rebound relationship and offers tons of important signs about your ex-boyfriend.
If your boyfriend’s new relationship seems to progress too fast, this may be an indicator that he is in a definite rebound relation.
While at the start, this indicator may not seem very logical, as any relationship that moves fast can be a good sign. Keeping the entire scenario in mind however, a single person is incapable of ending a good relationship and instantly getting involved in another at top speed. People do meet other people that prove to be good mates for life however, this always happens over time.
Instantly rushing into a relationship almost always is a guaranteed agreement to ending that relationship. The faster it progresses, the sooner it ends!
You can pick signs of how fast the relationship is building by taking cues from social media, from friends, and how your ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend act in front of you. Also signs of how obvious your ex-boyfriend seems about his new relationship on social media, or around mutual friends you too had. This is another cue of judging whether the relationship is a rebound or not, discussed next.
How Does Your Ex-Boyfriend React When you Are Around
Your ex-boyfriend’s attitude when you are around, speaks abound about the nature of the relationship he has with the new girl.
If you find your ex-boyfriend rubbing his new relationship on your face, or act as if he is head over heels in love with the new partner, this is one big glaring sign of a rebound relationship.
First things first, if he is going through the hassle of letting you know about his relationship and trying to prove he is very happy, he is certainly not over you yet. He still thinks of you, and thus is not sincere with his date. A sure shot case of a rebound relation!
Well you know what this means, YOU ARE STILL GOING HOT!
There is also another aspect to this indicator.
Sometimes your ex-boyfriend may also hide his new relationship with you. This does not mean that he is necessarily in a serious relationship. At times, in order to avoid your extreme reaction (if you have had reacted violently to any such incident in the past) or sometimes just to keep his option of returning back to you open, your ex-boyfriend may choose to hide his new relationship from you. He may be in a rebound relationship to escape the pain but also realizes that he will ultimately be coming back to you and wants you to accept him back as well.
So picking this one up may be a tricky part!
Remember, while these indicators may allow you to analyze what lies underneath the actions of your ex-boyfriend, it is you who can assess what he actually means by his actions and words. You know him better than anyone else and is aware of how he reacts to things and what his actions say about him!
How Long Will The Rebound Relationship End?
After assessing the nature of your ex-boyfriend’s relationship, and determining that he is indeed going through a rebound relationship, the next step would be to know how long that relationship will last.
Averagely the success rate of a rebound relationship is nearly zero, more than 98% end without any involvement from the rebounder, and a probable heartbreak for the other person.
Generally, without any interference from the outside, a rebound relationship will last whenever one of the two involved realize there is nothing in that relationship, or when finally the person who broke up with someone earlier on and entered the relation, will either come over or yearn badly for the previous partner and end the new relationship formed as a rebound.
Assessing the correct time as to when your ex-boyfriend will come out of a rebound relationship is impossible; however, the stronger the bond you two shared, the sooner he will be coming back to you.
What Are The Chances Of Him Coming Back To Me?
Remember, sometimes coming back of your ex-boyfriend is as simple as realizing the mistake, based on which you two broke up initially (if it was your fault).
Experts suggest that while the two partners talk out any misunderstanding that may be the reason for a breakup; however if your ex-boyfriend is not ready to hear anything, the best strategy is to follow and give him what he wants – A Break Up!
He will over time realize your importance, once he starts missing you when you are not around! Remember you are not the only one insecure as to what he might be doing, or that he might forget you for good! He too shares these fears.
Ladies looking out to win there Ex-Boyfriends back need to invest the breakup time into developing themselves in a positive manner, and maybe in some way that will be preferred by your boy-friend as well, as this will serve as the stimulus that will win him back.
How Soon Should You Act!
A study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology, where researchers Gary Lewandowski & Nicole Bizzoco conducted an experiment with 155 individuals investigating their breakups that occurred in a period of six months. They found that averagely it takes 11 weeks or roughly three months for an individual to bounce back from the pain of a breakup.
This was; however, a finding true for short term relationship that has been going on for three years or less. Stronger and more developed relations, such as marriages that lived over five years, required a good 2 years, at least for the person to recover from the divorce.
Give Signs that you still want him back
Considering the time frame suggested in the study above, if you are out to win your man back, you need not wait very long. Although, an initial period of silence from your side is recommended so that your ex-boyfriend gets the time to analyze your importance, but chances are he is suffering and wants you back badly, but is hesitating owed to the fear of being rejected again. This is the point where you need to give signs that you are still into him and are ready to take him back.
Even though you may not be in touch with him personally, there are cues that he may leave through friends, or on social media, or maybe even to you, when you accidentally run into each other.
If your ex-boyfriend is keeping in touch with you, or the two of you talk to each other often even after breaking up, or after a few weeks, you ex-boyfriend returns to your place to get his stuff back, these are all signs that he is still into you and wants you back. Also if your ex finds it hard to have eye contact with you when the two of you are talking, or he comes up to you and asks if you are okay with him dating someone else, are all signs that you are still the center focus of his world, and he is regretting leaving you and wants you to make a move or give a hint at least, so that he could move forward.
Cheer Up! And look out for signs in your ex-boyfriend’s behavior
Researches that studied the reasons behind break up of couples, who got back together later on revealed that it was when they finally decided that they would leave their ex-partner behind and start a new relationship and move on was when their ex popped up again into their lives, even stronger than before.
So cheer up! And look out for signs in your ex-boyfriend’s behavior that will define how probable he is to come back to you, and to what extent can he go in hiding that feeling from you.
Rebound relationships are normal behavior, many men display at the time of a breakup, and unless he was a characterless douche bag from the start, chances are a rebound relationship will end up in him realizing your importance in his life!
Sometimes, these glitches in a relationship end up proving the worth of partners to each other. And if the two of you are made for each other and meant to be together, no rebound relationship can ever yield any result that could even match the compatibility the two of you share. Sometimes overcomes by emotions, ex-boyfriends tend to do stupid things, things that they know would upset you, only to feel sorry at the end and come back to you and enjoy a healthy and prosperous relationship.
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