What to Do When Children Don’t Like Their Parents
Many mothers and fathers suffer from being ignored and sometimes even hated by their children.
The children exclude them from their lives, never call or speak to them, or even refuse to invite them to their wedding.
It happens with fathers and mothers who gave them everything and sacrificed themselves for them. So, how do you deal with it?
Some children suffer from not being loved by their parents and feel obliged to love them but face the fact that they have toxic parents who make their lives hell.
But today, this article concerns fathers and mothers who suffer. Some say their lives ended because of this, and they sometimes face deep depression and sadness due to the lack of love from their children.
How to Cope?
So, from the point of view of fathers and mothers experiencing this, how can we deal with this situation?
First, every parent needs huge doses of self-forgiveness because raising children is hard work. And in our time, it is undoubtedly more complex than ever. The challenges and the trials are numerous and gigantic. So first, forgive yourself for any unintentional mistakes you may have made.
Now, let’s be frank and start looking for possible causes.
Yes, there are horrible people; we know that there are real sociopaths, psychopaths, and devious beings. So, yes, you may have done everything right, and your son or daughter is harsh and cold, showing an absolute lack of gratitude and love.
But that’s not it. And if this is not the case, we must look for the causes.
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It’s not about assigning blame; it’s about finding the cause and then finding a way to make things right. The first thing is to see if you have not abused the discipline. It is easy to fall into the pattern of violence, complaining, and demanding, especially when you are already tired from work and stressed. Patience is already a little exhausted; then comes tenacity and rigidity in dealing with children, especially in adolescence, when they are more rebellious, testing our limits.
It’s easy to put yourself in this situation. Parents feel so responsible for everything in their children’s lives. We feel obligated to raise them to be good, healthy people with good grades, and we want them to clean their rooms and be responsible. In many families, parents force their children to follow dogmas. Children should be strong, intelligent, healthy, and successful. So many fantasies, so many demands.
Many parents transfer their frustrations about their failed fantasies onto their children, and they want it to be “different” for their children. By piling on demands and more expectations of children, accompanied by a lack of approval for not meeting those demands, it is easy to create a toxic climate.
There may have been a lack of understanding, balance, friendship, laughter, and relaxation together in your relationship. Not just love in its complex form but in its soft form. Maybe you missed spending time together. Once again, this is not about feeling guilty. Perhaps you didn’t have time. Because you worked all day, came home, and still had to cook, clean the house, do the laundry, and help with homework. It happens, but it still creates distance.
Demanding Accountability Is Another Primary Source of Friction Between Parents And Children.
Parents, but especially mothers, in general, also like to charge for love. They demand recognition. After all, it is a never-ending struggle to be a mother to be a father. Huge sacrifices were made; they gave up so much to give to their children, and now they want something back. Demanding accountability for love is a recipe for creating distance in any relationship.
This doesn’t encourage love; it encourages weariness, which makes the person more likely to want to distance themselves. After all, who wants to get closer to someone who will bring more weight to you when life is already so heavy? Children think, “I didn’t ask for any of this.” And they are correct; they didn’t even ask to be there; the parents chose to have children.
This mix of demands and demands for recognition can become a burden, generating guilt and low self-esteem in children. This burden is unbearable for a teenager already overwhelmed by the fears and anxiety that accompany the phase she is experiencing.
The world is challenging. Unemployment, fear of climate catastrophe, addictions, social networks, urban violence. Being a teenager has never been so difficult. And a teenager, naturally, biologically, already wants to leave the nest and fly away. In addition, there is a hostile environment at home of discipline, demands, and dissatisfaction; it is easy to imagine an escape, a denial from the parents.
These thoughts can help in the search for rapprochement, but now, let’s come to the essence of yoga: deal with the problem from a purely spiritual point of view.
The essence of yoga is to focus on our behavior. We are happy when we do good and correct our bad behavior. What other people do is someone else’s problem.
We don’t depend on others to be happy, and we don’t get sad when they act differently than we expect. So, it’s up to parents to ask themselves: “Have I done my homework?” “Did I do my best? “. And if the answer is “yes,” period, it’s over.
If a son or daughter misbehaves today, it is their problem; it is they who fail in their duties and will have to mature at their own pace.
Why Should Your Life Be Affected by Another Person’s Bad Behavior?
How to Meditate
This is why yoga talks so much about detachment. Stay light and relaxed, and do your best to please yourself, not just others. You know precisely what you have done or not done. Others don’t need to recognize your actions.
What does it mean to say that your life is over because this person, even your son or daughter, acts differently than you imagined? It’s a recipe for unhappiness. Your happiness should only depend on you; this is the basis of the path of yoga, the Golden Rule of 3. And it works.
So, if you are suffering from your children’s bad behavior, stop for a moment and take a step back to see how much responsibility you have in this bad relationship.
Forgive yourself, forgive your son or daughter, give them space and time, then seek connection. Leave the doors open, but let go.
Be Happy in the Herculean Act of Raising A Child, In the Valuable Gift You Have Been Given.
You have done your duty and paid your debt to your ancestors, who also experienced this situation. Put this situation in the hands of fate. If your son or daughter no longer wants anything to do with you, look positive: you will have more time and energy to take care of yourself and work on self-improvement and self-fulfillment.
Enough Grievances and Resentment Are Poison. Only You Suffer Because Of This.
If you are suffering because of this situation, you need to work on yourself a lot, and this is part of the problem that manifests itself in your poor relationship with your children. We seek to heal ourselves, not find fault in others.
Keep spreading love, no anger, no harm. Let things flow by focusing on your life beyond the role of mother or father. Accept the situation and focus on yourself to heal yourself, improve yourself, raise your consciousness, grow, and be happy.
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