New Relationship | 5 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Committing
Before embarking on a new relationship, taking stock of your love is a great way to take a step back. In the hectic pace of life in which we live, we must constantly adapt to the changes that are imposed on us. And a new romantic relationship proposal that reaches out to us is one of them. A love life review really comes into its own when someone you’re attracted to seems intent on making a serious inroad into your life. When you feel a little lost and wonder if it’s a good idea. If fear and confusion mix with the adrenaline of newness, it’s simply because you haven’t yet put clear words in your mind. The balance sheet is also a life-saving exercise for people who tend to get attached too quickly. This is an opportunity to reevaluate your timing, expectations, goals, and wishes for the future.
Here are the 5 main questions to ask yourself to see more clearly before committing to a new relationship.
1- Am I Really in Love?
It is important to take a step back on what appeals to you about this person. Is it the person who appeals to you or the idea of being in a relationship again. Is it love, attraction or just affection? How do you feel around this person? What character traits make this person special to you? What do you like the most and the least? Do you think this person would make a good partner for the rest of your life? Or do you see it more as a means to achieve a goal or to prove something?
2- Is It The Right Time?
The timing of a relationship is important. And this, even if each relationship has its role to play in our life course! The timing corresponds to your state of mind when you consider this relationship. There are encounters that serve as a transition or a dressing of the wounds of the past. There are also those that make you realize that you deserve better. And finally, there are those who find you in a period of your life where you know exactly what you want and what you no longer tolerate.
What season of your life are you in? What is your vision of love today? Being in a positive phase of your life and having a balanced life is a good start for a healthy and lasting relationship. It will certainly make things easier for you and your future partner. And sometimes, it’s when you’re in a good phase of your life that you attract the right people.
3- Is This the Right Person?
The beginning of a romantic relationship is the period when we observe each other the most. In a way, we try to validate if we are really compatible. Is this the right person? Are you really compatible? Do you have common points, things to share together? Are your personalities complementary? are you in similar seasons of your life?
Does this person really see you as you are, or does they idealize you? Even if it is too early to know, there are signs that can either alert you or reassure you. I invite you to also read our article “How to know if it is the right person.”
4- Are We Compatible?
Are you a secure, anxious or avoidant lover? The reassuring lover is available, flexible, understanding and easily compromises. The anxious person has a facility to blame the other. He constantly seeks the presence and appreciation of others, and often interprets things very negatively. He lacks confidence in himself and in others and is afraid of rejection. The avoidant is very distant and independent. He trusts himself but has difficulty trusting others. He flees conflicts and often goes into defensive mode for fear of suffering.
Understanding your mode of attachment allows you to better understand the possible difficulties to come in the couple. When two people of the insecure type (anxious and/or avoidant) get together, it can lead to major differences and conflicts.
5- What are My Expectations and My Contributions in This Relationship?
How will this relationship help you? What do you think is most important in a relationship right now? Is this person able to offer you what you are looking for? Are your expectations realistic or too high? In every romantic encounter, everyone comes with a past, a personality, expectations and wishes. Are you comfortable with what the other brings as baggage?
We often think about our own expectations but sometimes we forget to ask ourselves what we are ready to offer in return. What can you bring to this relationship? Are you really what this person seems to be looking for? Knowing yourself well is important to ensure that you are able to satisfy the other and meet their expectations.
Do You Have the Answers to These Questions?
I used to say that a fulfilling love life is built on clarity. Do not hesitate to make an appointment with me if you need help to make your balance sheet in love. We’re here to help you start off on a healthy relationship, make the right choices and thrive in a new life as a couple.
If you liked this article, feel free to comment below to let me know what you thought about it.
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