What is The Difference Between Attraction And Love?
At the start of a relationship, it’s easy to miss the difference between attraction and love. One thing is certain, you are not indifferent to this person you like, but how do you really feel? You go through a palette of emotions that leads you to ask yourself questions: “Am I starting to like him? Am I falling in love? Is it a simple attraction or something deeper?”
Difference Between Attraction And Love?
A long experience of life, I have noticed that many people, men and women, have trouble distinguishing between love and physical attraction. Yet these are completely different feelings. It is not enough to feel very strong emotions to speak of love. It is very important to understand this if you want to make the right choices in love. Here is a helpful guide that goes into detail about the differences between love and attraction.
The First Difference Between Attraction and Love is Time:
The attraction can be instantaneous, born from a single look, from a few exchanges or conversations. The attraction is, therefore, more impulsive. It pushes us to feel the desire to be together, the desire to talk to each other, to touch each other. This is why it is easier to be attracted than to fall in love. When I speak of time, I also speak of duration. Indeed, attraction is something that tends not to last.
We sometimes forget it, but love is something that is built over time. It grows as we get to know each other and share good and bad times together. And for some people, it takes time to feel ready for love. If you are ready, I invite you to discover what I learnt.
The Second Difference Between Attraction and Love is the Motivations
Tell me what your motivations are and what you like about the other, and I will tell you if you are really in love! To understand the difference between attraction and love, I suggest a little exercise. Take a paper and think of the person you loved the most in your life. What comes to mind first when you think of this person? If it was a simple attraction, you will surely remember the physical aspects of this person in the first place!
When we are attracted, the reasons for our interest are often superficial. We may be attracted to someone because of their appearance, their popularity, or their success. In fact, we like the illusion that we have of the person. It’s an unstable feeling. This is because attraction is a feeling based on something more relating to physical desire. And this carnal desire can evaporate at any moment. It feeds on physical contact and the idealized image of the other. Without a regular physical connection, interest will gradually fade.
Whereas love is a stronger and more stable feeling. It is not limited to physical pleasure. There is an emotional and intellectual connection. Together, we think about the future: we imagine our future relationship. We can easily project ourselves into the future together. And physical attraction is just one aspect of what we like about each other. We can, therefore, speak of amorous attraction.
Third Difference Between Attraction and Love: Mutual Trust
When a person is in love, they more easily share their inner world, their emotions, their needs, and their fears. She lets the other into her intimacy and speaks openly. She finds it easier to say “I love you” because she feels confident about her feelings. With shared love comes the feeling of emotional security.
On the contrary, when it comes to a simple desire or an affection, we do not know much about the person, about his most intimate secrets. And besides, most often, we are not interested in knowing more. Attraction is selfish and fleeting. Everything is done impulsively. And since there is no feeling of stability, we are more likely to feel jealousy. Since deep down, we are aware that the relationship is fragile. In the case of emotional dependence, we are afraid of abandonment. It’s hard to trust each other and trust each other.
Fourth Difference: Solidity in the Face of Trials and Changes
If you want to know if there is love in the air, in my experience, it is important to ask yourself about the strength of your relationship. Indeed, in a relationship made of love, we are ready to face everything together and to adapt to changes. The relationship is not threatened by the slightest argument, friction, or misunderstanding or in the face of significant changes. Despite the big challenges, we adapt to stay together!
It is, therefore, difficult to speak of love when we have not yet experienced difficult situations that test our feelings! I am not saying that couples who separate are those who have never loved each other or that you cannot experience love and then separate. Simply, a couple who love each other will be more inclined to make efforts to make it work than a couple who lives more attraction than anything else. Because that is not enough to maintain a couple going through difficult times. Attraction frees him from any form of obligation.
Love is Benevolent:
This means that it leads us to think about the well-being of the others and not only our own. To the person himself and not only to what he brings to us. We do not engage in the relationship to receive but also, above all, to give. We are thirsty to know the other, to get to know his entourage and his environment. His projects and his vision of the future interest us.
If you care about what the person thinks, feels, and likes, that’s a sign that you have an interest. Whereas in a relationship based on attraction, one first seeks one’s own personal satisfaction.
To conclude, I would say that there is a big difference between attraction and love, even if you can feel both at the same time. Over time, this difference becomes more and more evident. Of course, sometimes attraction turns into love over time. But this is possible when the partners integrate the aspects that characterize love: emotion, interest in the other, knowledge and mutual trust. It takes more than attraction to build a stable and lasting relationship.
Now that you understand the difference between attraction and love, you are able to better recognize how you feel and what people feel for you. This will make it easier for you to know if it is worth investing in this relationship. If you think you haven’t found the right person, I would like to give you hope. I have helped, lots of people to move from physical relationships to true love.
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