Making Friends When You Are 30
It’s at the age of 34, after a pandemic and three moves that I find myself with few friends than in the last 17 years.
Time, life as a couple, moving and the big virus have made me distance myself from several. To be honest, I noticed that I was also lacking more and more interest. I wanted something new I guess. It seems that since my thirties, I’ve been rediscovering myself. I’m also asserting myself more.
I’m learning to spend time with myself and I don’t hate it. On the other hand, I want to meet people with whom I can talk about deep things, laugh and why not start a band but at my age, how do you do that?
I’ve never been the girl who goes to the neighbor’s house to offer a pie in exchange for an evening of bridge once a week. Nor the one who signs up for activities alone to leave with a new friendship and a yoga mat.
However, today, I realize that it is a desire that lives within me and that I will not have much choice.
The older we get, the more our responsibilities also have other responsibilities. Adult stuff becomes our daily stuff and at some point, you wake up and want to arrive a little before stores open because you have tablets to put down before 9:00 in the morning.
It becomes difficult to find time to spend with someone but you have to find friends! It is part of Maslow’s pyramid of needs and we are not going to neglect Maslow anyway! It is very important to have a circle of support.
So you have to dare! You have to dare to ask for friendly dates. It is also possible that the first date does not lead to another, but I think it is important, if we see a possibility of good understanding and similar interests, to provoke a next meeting. Also, not all relationships will be the same in activity or intimacy and that is what is beautiful!
We have to “force” ourselves a little to make holes in our schedule to develop links.
We have to dare to go to the cooking class we have always wanted to sign up for and to the water if we are looking for our polo.
I think that by doing things for yourself, you have a better chance of meeting people who also do things for themselves and that’s beautiful in friendship. It’s inspiring.
For my part, I’m there. I try to go to people more frequently and suggest activities. I try as I said. It’s true that at the beginning, I felt like I was 8 years old and going to knock on my neighbor Olivia’s door to go bike riding but I realize that there is no age to knock on the door of companionship. Even if it’s true, it’s no longer as easy as when we went to school.
With age, priorities change but we very rarely regret being interested in others because we also learn to know ourselves through them.
I believe that the more we know ourselves, the more we make choices that will bring us closer to the people with whom we could be friends. It’s like a circle.
I would like to end by saying that there is no shame in wanting to make friends as an adult, on the contrary. No one runs away from great relationships, so let’s get started, take the first steps towards each other and invite them to do an activity or just chat.
Friendship can last a lifetime, so why deprive yourself of it?
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