Self-Acceptance And Body Shape
Recently I read a very interesting interview with American yoga teacher Jessamyn Stanley, who published a book called Every Body Yoga. She talked about her approach to accepting her body, which she considers distinct from the body shape that we see a lot on social media at the moment.
It got me thinking and I’m sure it will for many other women too.
Body Acceptance Vs Body Positivity
Of course, I had always seen the body shape as being… POSITIVE. And I still believe that representation is essential: in nature, the human body exists in thousands of possible variations. However, in the media and in the public sphere, we only see a very limited number of examples. Which pushes far too many women to believe that there is something wrong with them. Nothing is wrong! It is the media that must change and show all kinds of examples in their greatest normality… Which will end up changing public opinion a little (let’s say that fatphobia will probably not disappear anytime soon). However, at least the perception that girls and women have of themselves.
Except that, I was surprised to see that for Jessamyn, the positive body shape was not something very promising. It’s as if she saw accepting herself as an obligation, one more chore on her to-do list.
What the yoga teacher deplored above all was the kind of pressure that came with the body shape. This would want us to love our bodies at all costs and to be 100% proud of them, at all times.
For her, the process of accepting her body shape was, therefore, gentler and more realistic on a daily basis.
What Does Body Shape Acceptance Mean?
For Jessamyn Stanley, body shape acceptance means that sometimes, we can look at ourselves in the mirror and not feel good about what we see. That it is completely okay and legitimate. That we also have the right not to be perfectly proud of all our physical characteristics.
But be careful, this does not mean that we hate ourselves, that we put ourselves down, that we are ashamed. Our self-esteem is not hurt and we would like to take drastic measures to change!
On the contrary, body shape acceptance is truly an approach of benevolence, which starts precisely from the acceptance of these sometimes negative feelings towards our body. It starts from the awareness that it is not necessary to repress them and from their transformation towards a better knowledge of ourselves.
For example, the author believes that yes, it is okay to wake up one morning and feel like shit in your body. But you have to go further, ask yourself questions and undertake a kind of therapy with yourself. For example: “Where does this negative feeling come from?”, “How can I confront it and get through it?”, “How can I really love myself despite this?”.
The Less Beautiful Side of The Body Shape
Jessamyn Stanley admits that at first, she really identified with the body shape but that she has since completely disillusioned. “Since the movement has become more present and dominant, the message has changed. At first, I saw it as an opportunity and a liberation to see that I am OK with who I am today. That everything about me is exactly what it should be. But now, what has been digested is more like Straight, cisgender women should love themselves as they are. To me, that is different from true body acceptance.”
I find the idea too diminishing: that of this quest for positivity that wants you to find the light, all the work is done and everything is sorted! So, for me, the body shape is not the solution. But I find that there is still a great need for all human beings to find peace with themselves. They need to accept themselves as they are at this moment.
Marginalization and Intersectionality
Not loving your body shape is far from being reserved for plus-size girls and women! It is rather a generalized trait, often deeply rooted in each woman from a young age. It is within a system that absolutely does not make any winners.
On the other hand, the body acceptance movement advocates the importance of recognizing that beyond that, certain body types have been marginalized for a long time in our society. Moreover, even considered unacceptable not only to show in the public sphere but simply to exist.
Jessamyn Stanley, therefore, insists on the importance of the intersectional side of the movement which is to say that it must not only include white women who still roughly correspond to the standards but also people of color, people from the LGBTQ+ community, people with disabilities, etc.
Another Inspiring Message
I found that Jessamyn Stanley’s speech was somewhat similar to the approach of @thebirdspapaya (who is called Sarah Nicole Landry) on Instagram. I have enjoyed following her for a few years now (along with 1.6 million other people!). It is because of her complete honesty about her own journey of self-acceptance about her body shape. The influencer shared a lot about the reality of the postpartum body.
Yes, it should be noted that she is exactly a white woman with a face that fits the standards and that she is not considered “plus size”, but rather “mid-size”. It is to say that even if she receives negative comments every day about her body. She is perfectly aware that she will never experience real prejudices like not finding clothes in her size. Moreover, being constantly insulted in the street or being afraid of not having enough space in a seat.
If you haven’t already, you should follow her, if only because we see so few of this type of model!
She completely herself without apologizing for being so, without any fear of showing even what she likes less about her body, ready to undo stereotypes and prejudices one by one, again and again.
She has varied a lot in weight in her life and her message is always the same: “I didn’t feel better once I became very thin. And despite all the work I’ve done on myself, I still have trouble accepting myself as I am on a daily basis. But that’s part of the process and it’s okay. The important thing is to keep trying to work on your body shape and not rely on what others think of you.”
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