Overcoming Your Fear of Abandonment and Thriving Is Possible!

Overcoming Your Fear of Abandonment

Fear of abandonment is one of the most uncomfortable negative emotions. It is based on a painful experience and negative beliefs that you maintain over time. It causes anxiety and can lead to reactions of isolation, jealousy, aggression or even irritability. Fortunately, it is possible to come out of it and flourish with others. Find out the causes and why we fear abandonment.

Summary

The fear of abandonment comes from the fear of loneliness. In children or adults, this can take the form of a phobia or an anxious feeling.

Separation Anxiety in Children

All children are separated from their parents at some point. But they understand that this separation is temporary. When this understanding is lacking, it gives rise to separation anxiety. This becomes problematic when the anxiety impacts the child’s daily life. In babies, the fear of abandonment manifests itself in crying when the parents leave the room or when they are busy with another person.

The 4 Types Of Fear Of Abandonment

A child whose parents have abandoned him may feel one of the following 4 fears:

1- Avoidant Attachment

If you are the type to prevent others from approaching you, then you are avoiding social situations. Avoidant behavior begins when you are sure that you cannot open up to others or trust them. From the outside, you are perceived as someone distant who is not comfortable in any common social situation.

2- Anxious Fixation

The fear of abandonment can allign by very close and dependent relationships with others. We then speak of emotional dependence. You feel a certain form of anxiety when you have to separate from your partner. People with anxious fixation are generally very emotionally reactive. Arguments can arise against the backdrop of the fear that your partner will leave you. An inner anger arises within you and consumes you. Because you are afraid of being alone, you sometimes act without measuring the consequences of your actions.

3- The Disorganized Style | Abandonment

Fear of loneliness can lead to difficulty being intimate with others, and when this proximity exists, it can be inconsistent. Anxious people fear being in a relationship. Sometimes, they cope with this suffering by avoiding proximity, particularly in romantic relationships.

4- Common Signs of Feeling Abandoned

As an adult, the feeling of abandonment can take different forms:

1- You give too much to the other;

2- You are impatient to please the other;

3- You find it difficult to believe in your partner’s sincerity;

4- You are never sure if you are in a fulfilling relationship;

5- You have difficulty establishing emotional intimacy with others;

6- You need to control your partner or for your partner to control you;

7- You are still in relationships that do not make you happy;

8- You look for partners who treat you like the treatment as a child. Often, this is done unconsciously.

When anxiety disorders and are left untreated, they can lead to anxiety attacks. You can work on yourself to avoid these panic attacks. You can also turn to a therapist. This professional will help you “cure” these symptoms. You will then be rid of your social anxiety.

The Different Causes of Feeling Abandonment

Being afraid of abandonment: where does it come from? Most of the time, abandonment syndrome linked to a loss experienced during childhood. We frequently think of the death of one of the parents or their divorce.

The fear of abandonment manifests itself when parents do not share consistent warm or attentive relationships with their children. The child then develops an anxiety disorder and chronic fear.

However, it can also be a lack of physical or emotional care. This is called emotional abandonment. This is characterized by:

The inability to talk about your emotions;

Parents who ridicule you;

Parents who put pressure on you to be perfect;

An emotionally failing parent;

Parents who treat you as if you were their equal;

Parents who lack emotional stability;

Physical and sexual abuse;

Any form of abuse;

A parent who would only look after the child occasionally;

A romantic partner who left overnight without explanation or did not deserve your trust.

Sometimes, parents’ demand for perfection leads children to feel a strong sense of guilt when they “fail.” It can also lead to a significant lack of self-confidence.

Other reasons can generate this sometimes irrational fear: the environment, medical causes, genetics, and brain chemistry.

When this fear is excessive, it can negatively impact your social relationships. You may then feel a real lack of love without knowing how to fill it.

How Do You Deal with Your Fear of Abandonment?

There are several techniques to avoid living in the anguish of fear of rejection:

Treat the anxiety of abandonment by getting to know yourself better.

The panicked fear of abandonment can be rooted in your low self-esteem. It is, therefore, interesting to identify the negative beliefs that make you live in permanent anxiety.

Ask yourself how you see yourself to calm your anxieties. Do you find yourself addicted? Weak? In this case, it is logical that this creates real discomfort. You can stop suffering by taking a neutral look at yourself. This neutral gaze avoids seeing yourself through the prism of separation anxiety.

Your trauma can heal. Take time to think about your victories. They come from qualities that belong only to you.

Moving Away from The Need to Be Loved by Cultivating Emotional Responsibility

The fear of abandonment ruins your daily life. This intense fear comes from paying attention to others’ feedback. Your need love constantly.

We suffer from this dynamic when we forget that we can develop our emotional autonomy. Focus your attention on your power of action. You are the screenwriter and actor of your life!

Abandonment anxiety makes you forget that you can make your own choices. Seeing the detours you’ve taken and the things you’ve learned calms anxiety. This emotional autonomy is your emotional responsibility.

You are not the only one responsible for this feeling of emotional insecurity. So, focus on the things you can do to improve your situation!

Get Rid of This Need To Be Loved By Freeing Yourself From Your Anger

Fear of rejection creates feelings of anger. And this will be all the more true if you were an abandoned child or left to your own devices.

Freeing yourself from this discomfort is essential. You can then direct your anger at the people who are causing your anxiety disorder.

Don’t be afraid to have negative things to say. Use writing to express what you wish you could have said when someone was hurting you. Add what you would like to add today.

You can’t do it alone? You can start psychotherapy. Appropriate role play can help you move beyond the traumatic event.

Learn to Put Things into Perspective

The fear of being abandoned did not arise alone. Nor only by your doing. At some point in your childhood, your loved ones had an attitude that was not appropriate. And you were emotionally impacted. The good news is that you can altogether exist on your own! You don’t need other people to be a beautiful person.

Work on Your Self-Confidence | Abandonment

By having more confidence in yourself, you will no longer feel “empty” when you move away from your loved ones. Autonomous and comfortable in your own skin, you will be able to overcome any depressive feelings.

Relaxation and Meditation

You can treat abandonment phobia through meditation and relaxation. Practiced over the long term, they teach you to reconnect with yourself, thoughts, and sensations. By calming your mind gives it a solid foundation to take a step back when necessary.

Take Time For Yourself

Taking time for yourself helps preserve your mental health. Our society enjoins us to always be busy and to show that we are. However, by refocusing on yourself and doing things that make you happy, you can keep your phobias at bay. Feeling joy by understanding your journey or secreting serotonin by playing sports will help you regain self-confidence and exist without seeking the approval or love of others.

Counter abandonment syndrome by putting your own appreciation of yourself at the center of your life!

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