Guest Post
Written By Benish Shams
Maintaining a Balanced Life Is a Dream or Reality?
Is it manageable to maintain a balanced life despite everything? I give you my opinion. To be a mother is to be overwhelmed. At least, that’s what everyone thinks! Between household chores, homework for the kids, meals to prepare, and appointments to keep, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed.
What is Balance
Fair distribution of the elements of a whole; A harmonious relationship between one’s psychic tendencies, rhythms or areas of activity. (Dictionary definition)
I define balanced life as the fair distribution of internal factors (mind, feelings, health) and external factors (professional accomplishment, social relationships, family relationships, hobbies). Maintaining a balanced life seems necessary to be healthy and happy. But feeling balanced has a different meaning for each individual, depending on their priorities.
Is it possible to achieve this balance on a daily basis? Every day to distribute every aspect of our lives fairly is not realistic. Today family life will require more attention; in a week, it will be more work; everything is a matter of priorities. Let’s explore why we should stop chasing after balance in our lives.
Life is a Constant Movement
Life is not static. It is constantly on the move and changing, just like us and our circumstances. Today is not the same as yesterday, and tomorrow will differ from today.
Striving for a balanced life is like surfing and imagining that we are never going to fall off the board. It is in constant motion and very unstable, just like the world in which we evolve.
Also, how you would define balanced life today is likely different from what you would have said a year ago and what it will look like two years from now.
The Seasons of Life
We all experience different seasons throughout our lives. When I was involved in a relationship, it was a new season where my priorities changed. The way I spent my time was different.
After having my first child, my priorities, as did my schedule, changed. My daughter was at the center of my concerns. My life was more about survival than finding any balance during the first few months. I aimed to get enough sleep to function the next day and care for my baby. There was definitely no balance at that time.
There is a season for everything. You have to stop looking for balance, especially during some of these difficult seasons. This is why I refuse coaching sessions with young mothers with babies under 6 months old.
Now that we’ve seen why to stop chasing balance, let’s know what to do instead.
Be Kind to Yourself in Life
I have found that women are particularly hard on themselves. Our attention is all the time pulled in various directions, and it can be challenging to juggle all our hats on some days.
Motherhood taught me the importance of being patient with myself. I have to accept the days when I don’t do everything I want to do. Our children learn primarily by example. It is important to convey them the right messages.
Choose Your Priorities
As the seasons go by, priorities change. It is important to accept that, during certain seasons, certain aspects are put aside because they cannot be a priority now.
We have a fixed number of hours per day. Nothing can be changed about it. Accept to make concessions.
The times when we most desire to seek balance are when life seems disorganized. If so, it is nice to find out why and what needs to be fixed.
Be sure to reduce your commitments if you feel too overwhelmed. You make sure what you’re doing matters and do it because you want to.
You may also need to revise some of your criteria downwards for a while. You may necessitate to devote more attention to one area for a while. Your home may look different than you want. You may have to find a way to cook meals as you would like. And that’s okay! When you stop looking for balance, you realize life is a circle of give and take.
You may need more help, and that’s fine. Stop telling yourself that you should be able to do everything.
More than Ever, Take Care of Yourself in Life
During life’s most stressful seasons, it can be challenging to take time for yourself. With mothers, it is often the first thing that is forgotten.
Self-care can be simple, free, and fuels you. Remember that even if you feel the weight of the entire work on your shoulders, you need to take time for yourself. In the midst of even the busiest seasons, don’t forget yourself, and don’t wear yourself out.
Take a moment to slow down and stay present in your life. Otherwise, you will feel like you are suffering your life rather than living it.
Practice Gratitude and Focus on the Positive in Life
Life is largely a matter of perspective. It’s surprising how different the situation can be if you analyze it from another angle.
You have control over your thought life, even if you cannot choose all the circumstances.
This is where organizations can help you control your daily life as much as possible. Listing your tasks and desires will allow you to assess your priorities better. By planning your month and your week, you can make time for each component that will enable you to be happy:
- A little sports activity
- Outings with friends
- Entertaining the family
- Time with each of your children
Or your lover, time for your passions. Similarly, planning your meals will allow you to eat in a balanced way, and anticipating your administrative procedures will reduce your stress. Of course, it is not a subject of planning everything by the minute but of freeing up and devoting time to what matters most to you.
In many other cases, you may need help finding a solution. You should hang in there during the season you’re going through. Either way, your experience will be enhanced if you focus on the positive.
You can choose gratitude even under challenging circumstances. Your attitude may not change your situation, but it will change you.
Bad mood, fatigue, stress, and depression are signs our body uses to alert us. Fortunately, we have this intuition, this inner voice, and our body that calls out to us when we lose our balance. So remember to listen to yourself.
When I Feel This Feeling Of Imbalance, Here Is How I Proceed To Get Back In The Saddle:
1- I stop everything and reduce my activities to the essentials.
2- I take time for myself and rest.
3- I disconnect and take the time to think about my desires.
4- I reassess my priorities.
5- I plan my future actions accordingly.
What do you need to feel balanced life and happy? What extra do you want to do to feel better when you don’t?
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