How to Manage Your Emotions?
Desperation, crying attacks, panic attacks or even outbursts of anger, often happen when our emotions take over and prevent us from reasoning clearly. We let ourselves be carried away by these affects and, impulsively, we act and make decisions under their influence. But can we really rely on our emotions to advise us? How can we manage these ups and downs to preserve our balance?
The answers.
Emotion is not unreasonable. On the contrary, it represents a real compass for making our choices and guiding our daily behavior. “In the majority of cases, emotions are healthy and simply reflect the way we react to a particular situation,” says psychologists. But, according to the psychologist, “when you are particularly emotional, you must understand the meaning of your emotions and learn, gradually, to tame them.
The emotion must be experienced but must not permanently alter the discernment of the person experiencing it,” continues the therapist. We must indeed recognize that our emotions (especially “hot”) can play some serious tricks on us. And we are not all equal when it comes to mastering them.
Why Can’t I Manage My Emotions?
You may have been told that you are hypersensitive, hyperempathetic or even very fragile. But your emotionality could simply be because you focus your attention on your internal feelings to the detriment of what is actually happening inside. outside of you.
Indeed, when we are overwhelmed by an emotion, what is happening inside us takes on a major dimension and we lose sight of what is happening in external reality. We can question childhood to understand why we react this way; perhaps your parents, in their upbringing, valued emotional expression. Or maybe, on the contrary, they didn’t give enough importance to your effects? Perhaps, for you, strong emotions represented the only way to be heard and thus, you developed a tendency to lose your temper,” suggest psychologists.
The good news is that all this is not uncontrolled but in fact quite common; everyone can, because of their history, be particularly emotional in this or that situation. And we must always question the context in which an emotion appears to determine whether it is appropriate or not. When we are grieving or going through divorce proceedings, it is normal to be particularly emotional. It is the persistence of negative emotions which indicates the existence of a disorder,” indicates the therapist.
If you lack perspective, if you have the impression that emotions uncorrelated – in their nature or in their intensity – from reality are taking hold and end up harming your socio-professional or emotional life, working on yourself can be necessary.
What Are Emotions For? Why is It So Important to Know How to Control Yourself?
We know that impulsive, so-called “on edge” reactions can be detrimental. They alter judgment, sometimes lead to bad decisions and are associated with a whole set of negative representations, fragility, instability, aggressiveness, and even hysteria. It is therefore better to keep calm and make allowances to protect the most important aspects. important things in our lives, such as work or our social relationships.
“Therapeutic work is sometimes necessary to learn to channel your emotions. You should not try to suppress your sensitivity but you must determine what you feel in a particular context: is it sadness? fear? anger? a little bit of all of this at the same time? Recognizing an emotion is not always easy, but it is the first step in taking a step back from your own affects, underlines the psychotherapist. In other words, the
Emotions are revealing and we must understand them to be able to tame them.
First Step to Better Regulate Your Emotions | Verbalize Them
“Put words on evils!” After having determined what emotion(s) we feel and in what context, we must verbalize and say, for example: “I feel very sad when my partner does not express his affection to me” or even “I feel strong anger when I fail to achieve my goals.” Many people tend to withdraw and ruminate, but solitary ruminations do not constitute healthy verbalization of thoughts.
On the contrary, internalizing one’s torments often increases unpleasant emotions. Moreover, it often leads to the development of limiting beliefs disconnected from reality. For example, a child who is afraid of the dark will happily maintain his phobia throughout his life if he cannot communicate his fears to his parents. Indeed, the trusted environment has the power to reassure and discredit this irrational fear. And this is just as true in adults.
Talking about what is weighing you down with someone you trust will help you put what you are experiencing into perspective. Rather than “representing” the world by fantasizing about the situation you experience or about others, you must “present yourself in the reality of your emotion”.
Learn Acceptance and Resilience
Speaking and being heard allows us to recognize and accept what we feel as well as the reality in which we find ourselves. Acceptance most often helps calm emotions by removing the resistance. Often, it is the source of your suffering and the negative emotions that you endure.
Acceptance ismanageable in three stages:
1- The first consists of becoming aware of what we feel in a particular context. Verbalization is particularly useful at this stage.
2- The second consists of welcoming our emotions; however, painful they may be, unconditionally. If you are experiencing intense fear, anger, anxiety, or other sadness, isolate yourself if that is more comfortable for you. Close your eyes, lie down if possible and tell yourself that you are experiencing the emotion of which you are aware, due to this particular context. This is not a bad thing, it is not a fault and you should not feel guilty for feeling the way you feel. Let your emotions express themselves and cry if necessary. You can also do this work in the presence of a trusted person.
3- The third consists of reconnecting with reality: once you have completely emptied yourself of the emotional charge, you will be able to appreciate the new situation. Verbalize this new condition. Is there nothing positive in your life? Perhaps what awaits you should not, in reality, be feared. In any case, it is an experience that offers you maturity.
Acceptance leads to resilience, which allows us to overcome traumatic shocks and find a state of balance after great destabilization.
How to Manage Your Stress and Emotions Through Meditation?
Are your thoughts and ruminations overwhelming you? In this case, mindfulness meditation is the ready-made solution to your problems.
This ancient and scientifically validated technique consists of paying attention to what is happening at the moment and where it is happening and nothing else. Using one of the many videos available on the internet if necessary, take a few minutes to let your emotion pass by focusing on the here and now. A simple precept but one that requires relentless discipline. We know that thoughts tend to wander when emotions are in full swing.
Thoughts that are associated with strong emotions tend to parasitize us and lead us to sterile ruminations. This is why it is important to learn to let them pass through your mind without paying attention to them. Let them pass without criticizing them or judging them. They will become a simple object of observation. Meditation allows us to be more aware of our own life and the present moment.
Anchoring, A Technique for Better Self-Control
It’s well known that people who think too much lack grounding. Why? Well because by dint of listening to their heads, they end up no longer looking at what is happening around them. A good method to avoid such a perverse effect is anchoring! Behind this term anchoring, we find several techniques, which have nothing to do with each other.
The idea is to deal with “negative” emotions and thoughts that can overwhelm us. And this thanks to an anchor which, like a boat, will allow us to remain solid in the face of emotional storms. A first anchoring technique involves standing with your shoulders, hips and feet aligned. You are upright, stable and you imagine yourself anchored in the ground. Take deep belly breathing. Imagine taking root in the earth and living in the present moment. Some exercises also suggest imagining a memory or a positive or calm situation while making certain gestures that you must associate with this sensation. Then come back to reality after a few minutes.
What Tools Against Negative Emotions?
Here Are Two Tips to Reduce Your Negative Emotions:
First of all, you should not try to judge or fight against negative ideas. When they arise, let them pass through your head without giving them too much importance.
Another tip is to identify what brings you pleasant emotions and do it more often. For example, if you noticed that going to work by bike brought you well-being from the start of the day (while taking the bus has a way of putting you in a bad mood) you can regularly opt for cycling. On the other hand, you can note all the situations that cause you discomfort. Which are not essential for your health, your socio-professional life or any other important area of your life. And you can perhaps lighten your schedule by giving up these activities in order to find a smile again.
Therapy, Sometimes Necessary to Channel Yourself
If you tend to cry often, have dark thoughts, or have anger or anxiety attacks, it is advisable to consult a psychotherapist. Choose a psychologist. Consultation is essential when your disorders have a significant impact on your daily life. “Persistent negative emotions must in all cases lead to consultation. Whatever the context, an emotional disorder that lasts for several weeks justifies seeking the advice of a mental health professional,” according to psychologists.
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