Are women more faithful, less inclined to the question and have more sexual desire? Are we sure of this, or is it a preconceived idea? The result of a sort of millennial formatting of our brains? Men’s and women’s love desires are different, and several factors explain this. Psychological or physiological reasons, the questions are numerous, and to answer them, we interviewed doctors of clinical psychology, sexologists, and psychologists.
Needs Felt and Perceived as Less Strong in Women
If we believe the surveys, both in the facts and in the perception of them, we are convinced that women have less desire to make love:
Regarding disorders of desire, experts noted that “Women would be between 11 and 33% to experience these disorders before menopause and 33 to 53% after. More than one in three women would feel psychological suffering linked to a decrease in desire or hypothesize, explains our sexologist. Men would only be 1 to 3% to express disorders of desire, with a significant increase from age 50. “
In terms of perception of sexual needs according to gender: “By nature, men have more sexual needs than women.”
Perception Of Desire?
Why Such A Big Difference? So, if female needs appear or are less important than those of men, what are the reasons?
Physiological Explanations
From birth, the boy is more in contact with his sex, which is on the outside and, therefore, clearly identifiable. Later, her excitement will also be more palpable since it will manifest itself in an erection. The little girl, on the other hand, does not see her sex. She will have to try harder to understand her body and her sexuality by herself. Furthermore, women have learned to accept frustration more since the world began. Indeed, they cannot force a man to have sexual intercourse, so they are dependent on his erection. This forces the ability to adapt/accept.
A Strong Hormonal Influence
“Menstruation, motherhood and menopause influence women’s desire. The latter is, for example, stronger a little before ovulation or at the time of menstruation. Thus, estrogens positively influence female libido. Conversely, prolactin (related to milk secretion) tends to have an inhibitory effect on sexual need. This is why, in addition to the primary maternal psychological preoccupation (PMP psychological process until the first 6 months of the child), in the first months of breastfeeding, we perceive a decline in sexual desire in a large part of women. Finally, with menopause, we will most of the time witness a decline in sexual desire and libido at least in the initial and state phases, to sometimes be reborn more strongly also in some women. “
The Consequences of Phallocracy
Until sexual liberation, it could be socially difficult for a woman to express her sexual desires and to live her sexuality freely. Indeed, as the group Tryo pointed out, a man who loves women, we call that a Don Juan. A woman who loves men, what do we call that? A nymphomaniac? A tease? Why?
Because it did not suit men’s affairs, women who carry babies and, therefore, potential heirs could go elsewhere. Especially if the gentleman went off to fight for months! Throughout history, women were trained not to like sex and/or not to be able to admit it to themselves. Today, it is complicated to know which of the chicken or the egg started these prejudices about female desire.
An Misjudge of Women’s Desire
Libido and desire are often confused. Moreover, as experts explain, we wrongly take the terms desire and libido as synonyms. “However, libido rather concerns sexual appetite and the desire to make love in the impulsive sense of the term. It is an energy that pushes towards a sexual object that is not always intent on. Desire, for its part, refers to an energy driven by a need to make love with a specific person, a precise sexual object. We want to make love with someone in particular.
In this sense, we could say that the constant impulsive libido (biological/psychological) is more on the man’s side. While sexual desire (psychological/biological) would be more on the woman’s side. Her sexual desire would be based more on a psychological and sentimental loving aspect. More romantic, therefore, but no less sexual. This would also explain the significant statistical differences between men and women regarding autoerotic masturbatory activities, porn addiction, or the use of paid sexuality, sexual dating sites, etc. “
An underestimation of women’s desire by men: a study conducted in May 2016 also supports this since it showed that men did not perceive the signals of women’s desire and, therefore, underestimated it. They wanted more than they thought but did not express it clearly enough for them to feel it (source 2). Men and women would, therefore, have the same needs and desires but would not express them in the same way.
Too Much Desire is A Source of Shame?
As our expert explains, standards and dictates weigh on women’s sexuality (as well as men’s!): “Women with a high libido often feel that they do not conform to the model, or to the expected social representation. On the contrary, in the current logic of sexuality, sometimes perceived as a factor of success and happiness, some women think they have problems with sexual needs (female hypothesize, sexual disorders) when they have quality sexuality and no real problem with desire. “
However, as experts remind us, we should not forget that, for both sexes, it is not all about quantity! “Long-term sexual fulfillment depends in the unification of the psychological and biological component through loving and sexual harmony.”
Libido And Desire
It is a Question Of Culture And Personal History More Than Gender.
We have understood that, in reality, whatever the sex, the relationship we have with libido and desire depends a lot on our culture, our education and our histories.
“In the office, we can also see that some women have a strong libido or at least a stronger one than their partner. These women most often have a more liberated relationship with their bodies and a better knowledge of their pleasure modalities, with access to their fantasy world, the true psychic engine of the sexual drive. They, therefore, have a greater number of more assumed sexual desires and are more demanding of sexuality. », notes our expert.
And to specify: « Indeed, at the origin of sexual desire in both men and women, there are many factors that are involved, such as the relationship to the body, to sexuality, to pleasure, etc. » Depending on the journey of each woman, the opening will, therefore, be more or less difficult. But thanks to sexual liberation, more and more women dare to assume their pleasure in making love.
Furthermore, some people have chosen polyandry as proof that it is also a society that creates women as well as their relationship to sex.
Summary:
In summary, men seem to have more love desire than women. This can be explained in part by physiological and hormonal aspects but also from a psychological and cultural point of view because everything has been done to make it so that women are less sexual. In fact, their desire is often expressed more discreetly. But times change and women and men too!
Best to you and your desires.
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