10 Toxic Communication Habits That Destroy Healthy Relationships
The foundation of a healthy relationship or marriage is communication. Communication is essential to make your relationship lasting. The main reason for an unhealthy and toxic relationship is a lack of communication. Toxic communication makes you feel attacked, cheated, unsupported or demeaned. When you don’t communicate, it creates misunderstandings between you and your partner. As a result, you feel lonely and frustrated. As a couple, you are responsible for making your healthy relationship toxic.
According to research, Toxic Communication can threaten your well-being. It also hurts you emotionally, physically, and psychologically. A toxic relationship is more than that of emotional or physical abuse. Toxic communication patterns can destroy your love life. Your communication pattern shows how healthy or unhealthy your relationship is. In this kind of toxic relationship, you hurt your partner through your words.
Healthy vs. Unhealthy Communication
In healthy relationships, you don’t say anything to your partner that can emotionally and psychologically hurt them. In this relationship, your communication pattern is always constructive. On the other hand, unhealthy communication is one in which you say those words to your partner that can psychologically and emotionally hurt them. This kind of communication pattern is worse than physical abuse.
As a human, you have to understand your partner’s value. It is recommended to control your emotions and anger because these factors can destroy the lives of many. So, it is possible to improve your communication pattern if you are in a relationship. The building block of a healthy relationship is based on trust, love, respect, and transparency. You have to express your love through words.
Example of Bad Communication in a Relationship
For example, you are trying to complete your work on a Friday so that you can spend your weekend with your partner. You ask your partner to have some fun but they don’t respond passionately. You feel hurt and say toxic words or things. From “You don’t love me” to “You don’t care for me” and “I hate you”, these are some toxic words that you say to your partner because you are emotionally high.
All these communication patterns are toxic. You can’t change your partner’s behavior. They have the freedom to disagree with you. You can’t force your partner to do something you like. If your partner doesn’t respect and understand you, it is better to find someone else. Instead of making assumptions, using toxic words, or negative body language, you can politely ask your partner if you want to go out with them. You have to understand the importance of compromise because it can help to improve your relationship. Below, we have listed 10 toxic communication patterns that can destroy your relationship.
Getting Defensive | Toxic Communication
If your partner brings an issue or trouble and you react too defensively, it is a sign that your relationship is toxic or your communication pattern is toxic. If your lover tells you that this specific thing is troubling them, you can help them solve the issue instead of getting defensive. It is the best way to protect your relationship.
Do not play the blame game with your partner. When you put yourself and your partner in an argument, there is a maximum chance that you will blame each other. This is the beginning of including toxicity in your relationship. Instead of blaming each other, try to find a solution together.do not point out each other’s problems because this thing will never let you solve your issues. There is no room for over-communication in a relationship. This factor can worsen things more.
Using Negative Body Language
Anger is one of the natural human traits. You get frustrated on little things because it is human nature. Your frustration or anger may change the whole scenario of your relationship. This is unacceptable in a relationship. A human can show his frustration in so many ways. Using words like “You don’t take my side” or “You drive me crazy” can destroy your relationship. It is another example of a bad communication pattern. With these words, you can emotionally and psychologically hurt your loved ones. You will consider your partner the real cause of the problem.
Telling Your Partner’s Stories to Others
You feel disconnected if you are committed to someone and it is a long-term relationship. Things between you and your partner get unclear with the passage of time. It happens when you share your partner’s intimate stories with your friends or others at an event or function. If your partner is uncomfortable, it creates a crack in your relationship.
It also falls into the lousy communication pattern and you should avoid it. It confines your partner and they will never improve or change themselves. This thing shows that you take your partner very easily and lightly. Allow them to tell their stories or incidents in their own way. You are ruining your relationship when you try to cross your limits and do not allow your partner to speak for themselves.
Gas-lighting Your Partner | Toxic Communication
When you start questioning your partner for their sense of reality, it isn’t nice for you and your relationship as well. It is referred to as Gas-lighting. If your partner says that you are controlling them, it means you are doing something wrong, and your partner is feeling this. Do not tell your partner how to do specific things. You can give your suggestion, but you can’t dictate.
Give them freedom and confidence so they can take their decisions without any pressure. It is a polite way of saying that you care about them. When you involve gas-lighting in your relationship, it can kill your relationship.
If your partner comes up with a problem, then you can listen to the problem and help to find out better solutions. This is the best way to avoid toxicity in your relationship or love life. Honestly speaking, it is very difficult to identify gas-lighting behavior but a professional can help you spot gas-lighting.
Being too Touchy for Your Partner
You try to become perfect when you are dating someone. Well, it is essential for the other person that no one is perfect. It is an illusion and the same person will behave differently when you say yes. After all, we are all human and have weaknesses and strengths. So, if you are dating someone, then try to identify their other side of personality. If you like or love them, then you can point out their negative traits and offer help to fix them. This kind of constructive behavior will help you build a healthy relationship. Moreover, too much communication can also create trouble in your relationship in the form of misunderstanding, doubts, and confusion. These factors can reduce the worth of your partner and you feel disconnected.
Negative Non-Verbal Behavior
Negative body language or non-verbal signs can kill your relationship in any relationship. You can make your relationship stronger with romantic body language signs. Negative body language signs such as keeping distance, rolling eyes, and more are the signs of toxic communication. If your partner avoids physical intimacy and feels distracted, then it means he is not into you.
Sudden Communication Gap | Toxic Communication
Giving sudden gaps in your relationship shows there is something wrong. When you don’t communicate with your partner, it means you want a break or a gap. If this break or gap is sudden, then it means your partner is avoiding you. If your partner stops calling or texting you, it indicates that your relationship is getting toxic.
In healthy relationships, you tell your partner the cause of not communicating. You can ask them for help so that you can remove toxicity from your relationship.
Controlling Your Partner
According to psychologists, this kind of behavior is referred to as selfish behavior. This behavior can put your partner into depression, rage, and, ultimately, your relationship. The most significant example of this behavior is defensive communication. If you don’t allow your partner to speak freely, then it means you are steamrolling over them. If you don’t let your partner express freely and continuously interrupt them, it means you inject poison into your relationship.
Crossing Your Boundaries | Toxic Communication
Every relationship is based on certain boundaries. Crossing these boundaries makes it difficult to protect your marriage or relationship. It can hurt your relationship badly and can also put your partner into trauma. It is all about respect and kindness. When you share each other’s secret stories to others, it breaks trust and creates toxicity. So, if you are in a relationship, try to stay within your limits and respect your better half. Blackmailing is another negative communication pattern that can destroy your relationship.
Supposing Your Partner Already Knows
It is imperative for you and your partner to share problems and issues with each other so that you can find solutions together. But, when you assume that your partner knows everything, then it creates problems in your life. When you think like this, you stop communicating with your partner. This is the main reason for toxicity in any relationship.
Final Thoughts
According to psychologists, communication is the most essential ingredient in any relationship. You have to understand toxic communication patterns. After identifying these patterns:
1- Try to get rid of them together to make your relationship healthy.
2- Don’t make your healthy relationship a victim of negative communication.
3- Try to spend maximum time with each other and save your relationship.
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